Discussion:
George Costanza's Words of Wisdom
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Harry Flashman
2004-09-07 13:27:39 UTC
Permalink
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?

The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."

George Costanza's Words of Wisdom

Harry Flashman
Aqxea
2004-09-07 14:27:54 UTC
Permalink
wow, i've never heard that before. it's pretty funny.
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
George Costanza's Words of Wisdom
Harry Flashman
geo
2004-09-07 15:18:49 UTC
Permalink
http://www.philipkdick.com/works_novels_counter.html

: wow, i've never heard that before. it's pretty funny.


: "Harry Flashman" <***@hotmail.com> wrote in message
: news:fHi%c.22736$***@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
: > Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
: >
: > The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
: > is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
: > it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is backwards.
: > You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
: > home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
: > then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
: > work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
: > You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
: > go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
: > responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
: > last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
: > service
: > on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
: >
: > George Costanza's Words of Wisdom
: >
: > Harry Flashman
: >
: >



--
rerics
2004-09-08 05:47:05 UTC
Permalink
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.

Rerics
Harry Flashman
2004-09-14 13:57:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.
Rerics
Are you saying that speech never actually appeared in a Seinfeld episode? If
that is ture, then that is bizzare. I have a jpeg with that speech, a
picture of George Costanza, and the title "George Costanza's Words of
Wisdom". The weirdest part is that I feel like I can vaguely remember seeing
the episode. Is it just my imagination? I wonder why it has been attributed
to George Costanza?

Harry
Er
2004-09-14 15:41:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is
backwards.
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.
Rerics
Are you saying that speech never actually appeared in a Seinfeld episode? If
that is ture, then that is bizzare. I have a jpeg with that speech, a
picture of George Costanza, and the title "George Costanza's Words of
Wisdom". The weirdest part is that I feel like I can vaguely remember seeing
the episode. Is it just my imagination? I wonder why it has been attributed
to George Costanza?
Harry
Seinfeld did a bit, probably based on the Goerge Carlin bit, quite similar.
I believe it was in his stand-up segment or even his stand-up show.
Didn't have the orgasm stuff in it though.

Er
Will
2004-09-14 14:41:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is
backwards.
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.
Rerics
Are you saying that speech never actually appeared in a Seinfeld episode? If
that is ture, then that is bizzare. I have a jpeg with that speech, a
picture of George Costanza, and the title "George Costanza's Words of
Wisdom". The weirdest part is that I feel like I can vaguely remember seeing
the episode. Is it just my imagination? I wonder why it has been attributed
to George Costanza?
They're mysteries, wrapped in a riddle
Death Blow
2004-09-16 08:06:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end
of
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is
backwards.
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old
age
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your
pension,
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend
your
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.
Rerics
Are you saying that speech never actually appeared in a Seinfeld episode?
If
Post by Harry Flashman
that is ture, then that is bizzare. I have a jpeg with that speech, a
picture of George Costanza, and the title "George Costanza's Words of
Wisdom". The weirdest part is that I feel like I can vaguely remember
seeing
Post by Harry Flashman
the episode. Is it just my imagination? I wonder why it has been
attributed
Post by Harry Flashman
to George Costanza?
They're mysteries, wrapped in a riddle
You mean mysteries wrapped in a twinkey?
--
Pardon the horrible spelling in my posts. Now watch this drive!
888eight888
2004-09-18 17:10:49 UTC
Permalink
Post by Harry Flashman
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
Which Seinfeld episode is this speech from?
The most unfair thing about life is the way that it ends. I mean, life
is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of
it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is
backwards.
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,
then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You
work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You
go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your
last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room
service
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.
Rerics
Are you saying that speech never actually appeared in a Seinfeld episode? If
that is ture, then that is bizzare. I have a jpeg with that speech, a
picture of George Costanza, and the title "George Costanza's Words of
Wisdom". The weirdest part is that I feel like I can vaguely remember seeing
the episode. Is it just my imagination? I wonder why it has been attributed
to George Costanza?
Harry
Having a "jpeg" with text over it doesn't mean anything..
With Photoshop, you can put any text over any picture.
Er
2004-09-20 17:09:08 UTC
Permalink
"888eight888" <***@go.com> wrote in message news:***@posting.google.com...

<snip>
Post by 888eight888
With Photoshop, you can put any text over any picture.
What are you, some sort of scientist?

Er
l***@fake.com
2004-09-21 10:05:34 UTC
Permalink
That is definitely part of a Senfeld episode, even though I
can´t remember right now which one. Delivered by George just as
you say.

(I have a vague feeling that it could be in the ep where George
meets the woman who is OK with him "draping himself in velvet",
but I can not even recall which ep that is.)

Who knows if it may have been edited out in the name of
religion in syndicated versions in some particularly
hypocritical places.
Post by rerics
Post by Harry Flashman
You should die first, get it out of the way. Then go live in an old age
...................
on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen."
That was a bit by George Carlin.
Rerics
Are you saying that speech never actually appeared in a Seinfeld episode? If
that is ture, then that is bizzare. I have a jpeg with that speech, a
picture of George Costanza, and the title "George Costanza's Words of
Wisdom". The weirdest part is that I feel like I can vaguely remember seeing
the episode. Is it just my imagination? I wonder why it has been attributed
to George Costanza?
Lars
Stockholm

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